Artist: Hearts GrowTracks :
Album name: Sora
Sora- Sketh the Future
- Sora (instrumental)
Is this a good story?
I remembered the pitter-patter of the rain against the soil on the dark, fertile ground of a distant jungle. The angelic voice of my sweet mother humming a lullaby into my ear. Her voice faded with pain and exhaustion. Yet brimming with selfless love.
Although too young to sense proper fear I could feel it radiating through her soft, shining skin. It stole my heart and I had started to cry. Her soft caressing touch eased me, but not enough to forget about the horror in the air.
I clung onto her robe as she battled through the mess of green. Still humming and singing she climbed up a few rigid steps. I heard a roar in the distance, loud and mighty. Slowly, I started to cry. Her song grew louder and I could actually hear it now.
“Hush, my baby.” She said stroking one of my cheeks. “Hush, Kaminari,” she murmured into my ears. I whimpered as a stronger wind blew and the roar grew louder. “Good bye, my love. Fate will let us meet once more,” she said, quickly kissing my cold forehead and laying me on the ground, looking for the source of the roar.
The wind howled, in my head, my mother’s soft, loving voice echoed. But a baby was never to know that his mother was lying dead, a few miles away. Insides out. Heart not beating, the soft lullaby gone, never to be heard again from such a heavenly voice.
I could hear creatures prowling in the distance, but the lullaby was too strong in my head, I didn’t think about it. I gave off a loud wail. Wanting a nice, warm hug from my mother’s silk hands, but all I felt was the hard, cold ground beneath me.
I could see nothing but the darkness. Slowly the song started slipping away from my heart. Joining its producer. Leaving me forever. Never to return with loving care of a mother again. I could feel the terror in the air now. I could feel what my mother felt before me.
I could feel a monster.
Now that the warm hands of my mother had laid me on the hard ground of this land I could feel proper horror and sorrow. No hands to caress me anymore. No soft voice to whisper in my ear. Only the plummeting of the rain, the cold ground and the pitch darkness. Left in the cruel world with a monster miles away, ready to lash out at the crying, hopeless baby…
I'm nine years old. First attempt at writing an introduction starting with a baby and I don't have any younger brothers or anything so I don't know what babies act like when they're scared but i watched a couple of movies and gave it my best shot. What do you think? My friends all say it's waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too mature and noone will believe I wrote it.
thanks but you don't really get it. This is an older person (14) recalling what happened in his past. the baby didn't feel all that stuff, he just had a small idea of what was going on and the old version of him recalled it in a way with decriptive things and all. If you focus you'd figure that out. And the baby is magical so don't tell me he couldn't figure that out. And honestly I think any baby would hear his mother's lullaby and any fourteen year old would be able to phrase it in a descriptive way. this is the problem with adults. they can't think out of the box. no offense.
some people just never get it.
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